December 2088. Colette Marin is 31, Jordan Graham is 29, Maria Boone is 26, Johanna is 4, Felix and Milo Graham are 9.
previously: what if we had the most amazing life together?
Some angels on Christmas Eve. ❄️🌟❄️
———
They left a game on the kitchen table, half played. Toys to trip over in the middle of the floor. Backpacks still zipped up with winter break busy work that she already knows they will never do.
It was Christmas Eve, but you wouldn’t know that by Colette’s house. Outside, snowflakes swirled and holiday music poured out of car windows and open doors. Here, the only holiday cheer was the incessant commercials that interrupted her HGTV marathon.
Jordan was the one who decorated. He loved all those tacky, gaudy, colorful decorations. Three-foot-tall light-up snowmen, string lights in all the colors, raucous mismatched ornaments that followed no apparent theme, and a tree so tall it touched the ceiling. Then they would want to leave the mess up through the new year, after which, she’d have to nag them all to take it down. Because left on their own, they would just never do it. And she didn’t want to always be the nag. It wasn’t a fun way to be.
She picked up the abandoned toy and started to take it upstairs. But then she stopped, because it made the house feel too hollow, like no boys had ever lived here at all. “It could come to that,” her lawyer had said. “What kind of voicemails did you leave? How many?”
Well, shit. She put the toy right back where they left it on the floor.
She wondered if Jordan hated her enough to take her boys away. Would he do it because he could? Would he offer her some grace? Did she deserve it?
He wasn’t supposed to have overnights with them until after their hearing in January, but he asked for Christmas Eve and her lawyer said it could be a good idea. If she wanted to look accommodating and fair. If she wanted to look like a happy and well-adjusted mother who could play nice.
“We don’t need the judge to hear about all those texts and voicemails. It will be better for everyone if it doesn’t come to that. Consider it an olive branch.”
An olive branch? Colette hated olives.
But Colette did love Christmas shopping. And this year, too, she bought the boys perfect gifts, things their father couldn’t afford. And no, it wasn’t a competition any more than that life is always a competition and she liked to win. She would get them back tomorrow on Christmas afternoon, she would see them bask in all that childhood glee. Maybe she could buy off what aspects of her parenting that lacked. There was a lot she didn’t have, but she did have money.
But it would feel wrong to give them such perfect gifts in such a bland living room. Somewhere in her heart, there was a small amount of Christmas cheer, cold and lovely as silver and frost, color coordinated, and not taking up too much space.
There. That little tree would do just fine.
———
But this little house is full of so much cheer! 🎄⛄🎄
Even if we couldn’t get the boys into matchy-matchy holiday jammies. In their preteen years, they thrive on not matching. At least JoJo is still happy to be her mama’s mini-me.
“This is so lovely and peaceful,” Maria said. “We did good. But they’ll tear it all to shreds in a few hours.”
After assembling plastic toys with hex keys, all the wrapping and paper cuts, gifts piled high for happy little faces to discover, they collapsed into the bliss of being finished. The payoff was this, a tidy explosion of impending joy, still and quiet and untouched until the morning. Sleet pattered on the windowpanes, lights twinkled in the dark, and a fake fire crackled on the television. Sometimes in life—in Jordan’s life, at least—the moments often make themselves inevitable. Maybe he should have felt nervous, but oddly, he wasn’t nervous at all.
There was one gift left unwrapped tonight. He didn’t know what to get her for Christmas except for the one thing she really wanted. Other ideas paled in comparison. Fuzzy socks? A book? A paper-crafting set? A silk robe? He found a very nice silk robe for her, and no doubt she would love it, but it wouldn’t set her heart on fire. He bought the robe anyway, in case he needed a backup plan. He bought the paper crafting set, too. She deserved to have three presents, but he didn’t think he would need that backup plan.
“There’s one more gift,” he said. “But I can’t wrap it. And it can’t wait until morning.”
She grinned. “Oh, look at you, being so mysterious and surprising.”
“I hope it’s not too much of a surprise.”
She smiled at him while he gathered up one last breath of courage.
“Wait here.”
It was stashed away at the bottom of a basket of pillows. She gasped a breath when he knelt down in front of her, before the box was even opened.
He felt so deeply ashamed of the way he’d asked her before. He felt silly for that, as he felt silly for a lot of things lately. He also acknowledged that it had been far too soon for him before, promising his heart out on the hot desert rocks with so many big feelings and only flimsy words to explain them. All he knew was that he needed this woman in his life desperately.
Then, it had been too soon. Not now. They had lived a whole lifetime between then and now. Those powerful feelings and flimsy words had come into focus. What if we had the most amazing life together?
He’d already said it, but he needed to really say it. Nobody in his life had ever had high expectations of him, but he could do better than that.
“Maria, you are my home. When I said, ‘Let’s have an amazing life together,’ what I meant to say was, ‘Will you marry me?’”
“Really? Like, really really?”
He laughed. “Yes, really. What do you think?”
“I hoped for this in all the deepest corners of my heart.”
“I know you did, silly girl. I want you to have everything you ever dreamed of. Everything.”
She could barely kiss him through her grinning. But oh, how she would kiss him, anyway! Then they both stood, and he slid the ring onto her finger. It was a delicate band with one modest diamond surrounded by several tiny shards. “I’m sorry it’s not bigger.”
“Don’t you ever apologize for that,” she said. “Don’t you dare! It’s beautiful. It’s perfect.”
Then this moment of such pure happiness was followed by just a shadow of sadness, because he realized there was only one person he wanted to tell this happiest news of his life.
Look, Dad, I’m not gonna be alone anymore.
———
They were just too excited to sleep, even though they knew the kids would be up way too early to dig into those presents. So many ideas to talk about. What kind of wedding they wanted, or didn’t want. Who they would tell first, or not tell, or wanted to tell but couldn’t. They came to no real conclusions except that there was a lot to decide and they didn’t have to decide it all tonight.
When they finally closed their eyes around four in the morning, dreams of the future swirling in their heads, the hours went fast. Johanna was up first to wake with the dawn, and she was ready to tackle that pile of presents.
Better start a big pot of coffee! It was gonna be a long day.
As much as it pained them, they both decided it would be best to tell the kids their happy news after Christmas was over. They didn’t want the boys to feel like they had to keep some big secret from their mom and carry that weight all through their holiday. Jordan knew that Colette would blow up and ruin their day if she knew it, so there was only one way to make sure she didn’t find out. This was for the boys, not for her.
So the kids were only focused on their gifts, as they should be on Christmas morning.
Milo was particularly happy about his new bug habitat. Even Johanna admitted that the butterfly larva was the grossest thing she ever saw. But it made him so happy. “Wow, you must really like bugs, huh?”
As promised, Maria was properly spoiled this Christmas, and Jordan gave her the two additional presents he reserved from last night—a luxurious silk robe and a paper-crafting kit. She was excited about them both, especially excited to obsess over a brand new hobby that she would abandon two months from now.
“Wait, your gift is outside,” she said. They had something for the kids outside, too, so they all went out to the back yard.
She got Jordan a grill, because she knew he missed grilling. She remembered all those warm, dusty nights at the campground when cooking over a hot flame was one of his favorite places to be. Besides the rocks, of course. And, honestly, she missed eating all those grilled dinners, too.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” he said. “That’s way too expensive.”
She shook her head. “Don’t even worry about it. I got it on a really great sale!”
(No, she did not get the grill on sale at all, but nobody would ever need to know that.)
Also in the backyard, they surprised the kids with a new archery set!
“Me first!” JoJo shrieked, picking up the bow and swinging it wildly. But despite their worries, she couldn’t make the arrow go very far. That was a relief, at least until she learned a little restraint.
Felix wanted a turn next. “Pretty good,” he announced, pleased with his near hit. “Next time will be better!”
If he got anything from his mother, sky-high confidence would not be the worst thing it could be.
It was cold, and Maria trusted Jordan to educate the kids on the archery set. She wanted to return to the warmth of the house and explore her other gifts. The silk robe was luxurious, and she’d never owned anything like it, but above all else, she couldn’t stop admiring the ring on her finger. Of course that would be the favorite gift she ever received in her life.
And then she tried out some origami tutorials. They weren’t easy, but she got it done in the end and her paper butterfly looked like the picture. She really did have fun trying, even if she let out a mild curse or two.
Then while everyone was occupied, Jordan snuck outside again to have a little try of his own on the archery set. Isn’t it a Christmas tradition for parents to play with their kids new toys that they secretly got a little bit for themselves? 😇
Bullseye, first try!
But Jordan is too humble to rub it in. We don’t need to tell Felix.
Finally, because they decided that this would be the Christmas to outdo all Christmases ever… they called out an adoption agency to show some puppies!
Jordan has always wanted a dog. While Maria was skeptical, she knew the kids would love a pet, and she was soothed to know that there were four other people in this house to pick up its poop.
But how could they choose? Three would be impossible to keep in this little house that was already bursting at its seams. So they had to send someone home today. They were all adorable, but then one of the puppies kept sneaking underneath the couch. Maria reached out to the pup. “Come out, little darling. It’s okay.”
The puppy came out from underneath the couch to sniff Maria’s fingers, but then retreated to her hiding place again. Maria’s heart melted completely.
“Oh, look at this sweet little thing! We can’t ask her to leave, she wants to stay.”
And so Maria, who was the least convinced they needed a puppy, was the one to fall in love first.
Granted, Maria is quite excellent at falling in love.
Lucky for little Misty. She is an Italian Greyhound and they are told that she will be a great fit with this active and loving family.
It was the merriest day for everyone, even this little pup who now had a new family!
The boys had already texted Colette a picture of their new puppy before they came home to her on Christmas Day. They were that excited. “You got them a fucking dog! How am I supposed to compete with that? ‘Cause you know I’m not letting them have an animal in my house! Now it’s all they care about and you ruined my Christmas gifts!”
Jordan scoffed. “How can one little dog ruin your Christmas gifts? That’s one hell of a stretch, Colette.”
“It just does. It takes energy out of their excitement. That energy was meant for me. You stole it!”
He chuckled. “Just, wow. Well, you know, I can think of another thing that would ruin your Christmas, too, but I’ll spare you the details.”
“What?”
He laughed to himself, shaking his head with a smug grin on his face. “I’ll tell you next week.”
“You can’t do that,” she shrieked. “You can’t just tell somebody you know something and not say what it is! Ugh, you are so infuriating!”
“Merry Christmas, Colette. Try to have a nice night.”
She was still yelling, but he was already walking away. She hated when he did that, leaving her with all this anger and nowhere to point it. She wanted to tear her hair out.
That was when Darwin spotted the two of them having yet another argument on the front porch. He wished he could say this was an uncommon occurrence, but it really wasn’t. But today, he was trying to enjoy a peaceful Christmas Day stroll with his daughter. Amaya noted her father’s unease, knowing only that he had gone on a date once with that woman and had never gone on a second one, so it must have ended badly. “Do you want to walk down another street?”
“No,” Darwin said decidedly. “I’m not afraid of that woman. You just have to protect your peace with some people. The world is not short on them. You’ll meet them everywhere you go, and you can’t let them bring down your mood.”
So the two started walking again.
“Just keep moving,” Darwin said. “Don’t look her in the eyes.”
“Like a wild bear?” Amaya asked.
“Totally like a wild bear,” Darwin answered.
By the time Colette noticed Darwin passing by, her rage had tempered to a quiet seethe. “Why are you always here?”
“We live here, too, Colette. Merry Christmas.”
Colette huffed. “Ugh, yeah, whatever.”
At least, upstairs, the shiny new gaming computers were a hit. As she knew they would be with these nine-year-old boys. The room was too small for all of this, but she did her best to move things around without losing any of their favorite toys. They would be too old for toys soon, anyway.
They were still a little too young to do everything they could with these computers, but just young enough not to complain about the parental locks. Gabby helped her pre-install all of their favorite apps and games, and clued her in on what those favorites were. For a small fee, of course. Merry Christmas, Gabby.
And the boys quickly forgot all about that dog. For now, at least. Colette would count it as a win, when the wins were hard to come by lately.
“These are the best!”
The game they played together was a rowdy one. “So you just blow things up then? And that’s fun?”
“It’s so fun! Look! Boom!”
City streets leveled to the ground, fire and brimstone, the sound of sirens and screaming. Colette wondered if she was raising two little terrorists or just a couple of normal preteen boys.
“I hope you don’t mind if I don’t want to watch. One hour, then we’ll have dinner. I ordered Chinese.”
“Thanks, Mom,” they both said in unison.
“Ha, ha, I mean, thanks Santa!” Milo added. “JoJo still believes in Santa. It was so hard to remember!”
JoJo. That girl. The idea of her existence was a dagger in Colette’s gut. You win some, you lose some. You win and lose again. Colette hated that her boys had a whole other life outside of her now. But there was nothing she could do about that. Their father made the choices he made and now they all had to live with the consequences.
“Look, Mom, ha ha, the hospital’s on fire! Look, look!”
“Well, I suppose I can watch for a minute.” Colette stepped closer to the screen. “Oh, look at all the smoke. Oh, there are even bodies on the ground. And, are they bleeding? That’s rather gruesome, isn’t it?”
Goddamn it, Gabby.
If you tallied up the wins and losses for this day, Colette supposed she would probably come out negative. So she decided to stop counting.
Later, the boys had gifts for their mom, too. (Thanks to their dad, actually, who reminded them that they needed to get her something and also took them shopping.)
Felix gave her a simple lone daisy, which she loved.
Milo gave her a rare abalone seashell, which was valued at a pretty penny. And she thought it was just “meh”. 😏
Next year, we give Milo permission to give her a bug.
Bullseye, first try!
But Jordan is too humble to rub it in. We don’t need to tell Felix.
Finally, because they decided that this would be the Christmas to outdo all Christmases ever… they called out an adoption agency to show some puppies!
Jordan has always wanted a dog. While Maria was skeptical, she knew the kids would love a pet, and she was soothed to know that there were four other people in this house to pick up its poop.
But how could they choose? Three would be impossible to keep in this little house that was already bursting at its seams. So they had to send someone home today. They were all adorable, but then one of the puppies kept sneaking underneath the couch. Maria reached out to the pup. “Come out, little darling. It’s okay.”
The puppy came out from underneath the couch to sniff Maria’s fingers, but then retreated to her hiding place again. Maria’s heart melted completely.
“Oh, look at this sweet little thing! We can’t ask her to leave, she wants to stay.”
And so Maria, who was the least convinced they needed a puppy, was the one to fall in love first.
Granted, Maria is quite excellent at falling in love.
Lucky for little Misty. She is an Italian Greyhound and they are told that she will be a great fit with this active and loving family.
It was the merriest day for everyone, even this little pup who now had a new family!
———
The boys had already texted Colette a picture of their new puppy before they came home to her on Christmas Day. They were that excited. “You got them a fucking dog! How am I supposed to compete with that? ‘Cause you know I’m not letting them have an animal in my house! Now it’s all they care about and you ruined my Christmas gifts!”
Jordan scoffed. “How can one little dog ruin your Christmas gifts? That’s one hell of a stretch, Colette.”
“It just does. It takes energy out of their excitement. That energy was meant for me. You stole it!”
He chuckled. “Just, wow. Well, you know, I can think of another thing that would ruin your Christmas, too, but I’ll spare you the details.”
“What?”
He laughed to himself, shaking his head with a smug grin on his face. “I’ll tell you next week.”
“You can’t do that,” she shrieked. “You can’t just tell somebody you know something and not say what it is! Ugh, you are so infuriating!”
“Merry Christmas, Colette. Try to have a nice night.”
She was still yelling, but he was already walking away. She hated when he did that, leaving her with all this anger and nowhere to point it. She wanted to tear her hair out.
That was when Darwin spotted the two of them having yet another argument on the front porch. He wished he could say this was an uncommon occurrence, but it really wasn’t. But today, he was trying to enjoy a peaceful Christmas Day stroll with his daughter. Amaya noted her father’s unease, knowing only that he had gone on a date once with that woman and had never gone on a second one, so it must have ended badly. “Do you want to walk down another street?”
“No,” Darwin said decidedly. “I’m not afraid of that woman. You just have to protect your peace with some people. The world is not short on them. You’ll meet them everywhere you go, and you can’t let them bring down your mood.”
So the two started walking again.
“Just keep moving,” Darwin said. “Don’t look her in the eyes.”
“Like a wild bear?” Amaya asked.
“Totally like a wild bear,” Darwin answered.
By the time Colette noticed Darwin passing by, her rage had tempered to a quiet seethe. “Why are you always here?”
“We live here, too, Colette. Merry Christmas.”
Colette huffed. “Ugh, yeah, whatever.”
At least, upstairs, the shiny new gaming computers were a hit. As she knew they would be with these nine-year-old boys. The room was too small for all of this, but she did her best to move things around without losing any of their favorite toys. They would be too old for toys soon, anyway.
They were still a little too young to do everything they could with these computers, but just young enough not to complain about the parental locks. Gabby helped her pre-install all of their favorite apps and games, and clued her in on what those favorites were. For a small fee, of course. Merry Christmas, Gabby.
And the boys quickly forgot all about that dog. For now, at least. Colette would count it as a win, when the wins were hard to come by lately.
“These are the best!”
The game they played together was a rowdy one. “So you just blow things up then? And that’s fun?”
“It’s so fun! Look! Boom!”
City streets leveled to the ground, fire and brimstone, the sound of sirens and screaming. Colette wondered if she was raising two little terrorists or just a couple of normal preteen boys.
“I hope you don’t mind if I don’t want to watch. One hour, then we’ll have dinner. I ordered Chinese.”
“Thanks, Mom,” they both said in unison.
“Ha, ha, I mean, thanks Santa!” Milo added. “JoJo still believes in Santa. It was so hard to remember!”
JoJo. That girl. The idea of her existence was a dagger in Colette’s gut. You win some, you lose some. You win and lose again. Colette hated that her boys had a whole other life outside of her now. But there was nothing she could do about that. Their father made the choices he made and now they all had to live with the consequences.
“Look, Mom, ha ha, the hospital’s on fire! Look, look!”
“Well, I suppose I can watch for a minute.” Colette stepped closer to the screen. “Oh, look at all the smoke. Oh, there are even bodies on the ground. And, are they bleeding? That’s rather gruesome, isn’t it?”
Goddamn it, Gabby.
If you tallied up the wins and losses for this day, Colette supposed she would probably come out negative. So she decided to stop counting.
Later, the boys had gifts for their mom, too. (Thanks to their dad, actually, who reminded them that they needed to get her something and also took them shopping.)
Felix gave her a simple lone daisy, which she loved.
Milo gave her a rare abalone seashell, which was valued at a pretty penny. And she thought it was just “meh”. 😏
Next year, we give Milo permission to give her a bug.
extras:
No comments:
Post a Comment