Drown #13: the story we tell, part 5.2

August 2086. Justin Kim is 26. Willow Nova is 5.


Willow skipped to the car, singing, "Off we go into the wild blue yonder..." Then she stopped. "Hey, Justin? What's a yonder?"

"Uh, it's a sky, I guess."


"Do you need to pee?"

"Nope."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Can I play a game on your phone?"


Justin handed back his phone. “Just don’t use all the battery.”

Justin began to drive. On I-84 South, it would take four hours to get to Lakeside Heights, but the bulk of the drive would happen on the automatic speedway. Justin brought an audiobook to listen to. Willow had a game to play. They would do this twice a month. It would be a burden, but it wouldn't be as awful as losing her to South Carolina for months at a time.




The game Willow wanted to play needed an update, so she started the update in the background while she took a ten-minute video of passing trees. Then she had to stop because the memory was full. So she streamed a cartoon instead, in poor reception, until the screen flashed black.


"Oops. It died."

Justin took back the phone and plugged it into the car charger.


"Hey, Justin? How come Lily couldn't come?"

"Sorry, girlie. This is just for you. Lily has to stay and help your momma with the baby."

"Maybe next time?"

"I don't know. We'll see how this time goes."


"Hey, Justin?"

"Hey, what?"

"I gotta go pee. I gotta go bad."


Justin pulled off at the nearest rest stop. They were about halfway through the trip, so they might as well make a stop for lunch. Although her visitation was scheduled at lunch time, Justin didn't trust that Jeremiah would think to feed her. What did Jeremiah know about kids?


Justin checked the bathroom and then let her inside. "There's a bug, but he's in the corner."

"I'm not scared of bugs," Willow said.




"I wasn't scared," Willow protested. "I just don't like it when they fly at my head!"


After they peed and battled with the bathroom bugs for a minute, they got their packed lunch from the car and had a little picnic.

"Hey, Justin?"

"Hey, what?"

"Can I play on the playground?"

"Maybe on the way home. We need to get back on the road after lunch."

"Is today gonna be fun?"

"I hope so," Justin said. "That's kind of the point, huh?"


"What kind of games are we gonna play?"

"Well, that's up to you and your dad, I guess."

"Aren't you going to play with us?"

"Remember, we talked about how I'm going to leave you with Mrs. Blair, and she’ll be with you when you see your dad."


"You’re leaving me?"

"No, I'm not leaving you. I mean, I just have to step outside the building for three hours. But I’ll just be across the street at the coffee shop. Then I’ll come right back. You'll hardly notice that I'm gone."


"Oh, but why can’t you stay?"

"Willow, I’m not allowed. I wish I could. But Mrs. Blair will stay with you the whole time."

"Oh, okay."

"Hey, your mom and I got you a present."

Willow pinched her lips into a reluctant smile. Never was there a child so unenthusiastic about a present.

"I didn’t want to show you at home, because Lily would be jealous. It’s a big girl present. Do you think you’re big enough for it?"

"Maybe," Willow said.

Justin took a watch out of the lunch box.


Willow held out her wrist and he clipped the wristband together with a metallic snap, click, then the bright screen flashed on.

Willow giggled. "It knows my name."

"It's a very smart watch," Justin said. "I told it all about you. But this isn’t just a watch. It has secret powers."

"Wow, what kind of powers?"

"It's also a secret phone, and that's it's super power because only you know that it’s really a phone. Nobody else will know. This button, the green one, calls your mom—you can remember it's green because your mom likes plants. And this blue button calls me."

"Blue because you like cotton candy?"

"Sure, I like cotton candy. And the yellow is grandma Alice, because she likes…"

"Bananas," Willow said.

"She probably does. And this button, the red one, calls the police."

"Red like a siren."

"That's exactly right. But you only use that one if you’re in trouble. It's not a toy. This is a big kid watch, and that is a very serious button. But if you ever need help, the police will come help you."

"Okay," Willow said.

"Give it a try. Push the blue button."

Willow pushed the button. Justin’s phone rang.


"Whoa!"

"See? So you can call me whenever you want. Or your mom. Or your grandma. And super powers are secret, so you don’t need to tell anybody what it does."

"Okay," Willow said.

"What super hero are you?"



She whooshed her arms through the air. "Dynamite Kid! Like in the movie."

"That’s an awesome super hero name," he said. "I couldn't have thought of a better one."


"Hey, Justin? What is my dad’s name?"

"His name? Uh, it's Jeremiah. Why?"

"I don't know what to call him," she said.


"You don’t want to call him 'dad'?"

"I don't know. Do I have to?"

Justin didn't know how to answer. He and Stephanie had never talked about it except to wish that Jeremiah was not her father at all. But that wasn't something they could wish away. "I think he would probably like it if you did, but you don't have to. You can call him whatever you want."

"Okay."

"Do you want to eat some more of your sandwich?"

"No, thank you. I'm full."

Willow had an idea. "I know! Maybe you can stay with me if you sit in the corner and don’t talk?"

Justin laughed. "I think your dad wouldn't like it. He wants to spend some time with just you. He doesn't like me very much."

"But why doesn't he like you? You're the best ever."


Justin squished her up. "I will always remember you said that."

"Me, too," she said.

They cleaned up their picnic and got back on the road.

—

They parked the car and walked together to the community center. Willow pointed at every strange tall sculpture, every park that might harbor a playground, every fountain that could have a coin tossed into it, every walkable path that she dreamed of running on. Her mood wavered between wonder and anticipation the whole way.

Then they met Mrs. Blair in the lobby of the community center.




Willow was the bravest little girl Justin knew, but she was still just a little girl, squishy and small as a bug. He wanted to pick her up and carry her all the way back home.

"Maybe I could walk her upstairs," Justin suggested. "I'd like to see the room, if that's okay?"

Mrs. Blair nodded. "That's not a bad idea."

She left a note at the reception desk and they all walked upstairs together.


They would use the rec room on the third floor of the community center, which was just as well equipped as they were promised it would be.

"She couldn't be any safer than right here," Mrs. Blair promised. "We have two security guards on site, in plain clothes so they're not very intimidating. There are cameras on every floor in the stairwells and at each doorway. But she won't leave this room. The bathrooms are right here, snacks, toys, drinks, everything she could need. So, that's that, and you can just meet us right back here at three o'clock. I have your number if we need anything."

"Okay," Justin said.

He tried to catch Willow's attention to say goodbye, but Willow had already found a favorite cartoon and she had her eyes set on that bright play room and all the toys and games it contained. "Can I go play?"

"Of course," he said. 

"I usually say it’s best to just slip out while she’s entertained," Mrs. Blair said. "Too many goodbyes will only give her a chance to worry again."

So Justin stepped out quietly while Willow raided the play room, and she didn't seem to notice that he'd left her.

—

notes: the rec center play room