boxes and squares #4.2: then have some faith

October 2088. Maria Boone is 26, Johanna is 4, Lou Corelli is 29, Jordan Graham is 28, Milo is 9. 

previously: Jordan is the neighborhood dad // the retired pond swans are Maria’s spirit animals

The community arts center in Evergreen Harbor was a popular destination in the neighborhood, but Maria had never found the time to go. There was always some excuse to claim for why she was too busy. She worked four days a week, and she obviously had Johanna to care for all on her own. Nobody could claim that she wasn’t busy. But her sister suggested that she should experiment with some new hobbies and try to find something more than work and motherhood (and pining over her man) to do with herself. 

So they went to the arts center one morning. There was a children’s program for Johanna, and Maria browsed through some of the adult offerings.



She really had high hopes for the wine-making class. Wine was delightful, and Maria had Italian heritage and culinary inclinations. Surely this should be a good fit!

But then she remembered that she was also squeamish. Somehow she never thought very deeply about how wine was made. But now, flat on her ass in a barrel of sloppy fruit, she didn’t think she’d ever see wine the same way again.



She finished making the bottle. It was terrible—her butt was in it, after all—but at least she could say that she tried something new.

She would keep wine-making on the back burner while she looked at some of the other classes.



Flower arranging? Now this was definitively not gross (unless she found a bug, then she’d be out!). But she was also not very good at it, and the arrangement turned out terrible. How hard could it be to stick a bunch of flowers in a vase and make it look pretty? Very hard, apparently.

Now she felt like a failure all around on top of having sticky “feet juice” all over her clothes.
This was why she felt it totally acceptable to take herself back home, sit by the phone, and pine over her damn man.

And that was exactly what she did.




But, you see, about that man—Jordan wasn’t having the best time out there, either. He told her all about his falls, scrapes, bruises, sunburn, and a possible fractured wrist. He was lonely, tired, sad, sore, and yet, he didn’t quit. He may have thought about it in some particularly down moments. He may have weighed up the pros and cons. Yet he was still out there, climbing and climbing, against all odds. 

So when he called later, when he asked her how the wine-making class went, how could she tell him that she tried once and quit over a little goopy mess on her clothes? He wouldn’t judge her, and he might even find it endearing, her being such a delicate little princess. She did wish for him to find her endearing, but she didn’t want him to think of her as a quitter. Because she wasn’t one.



So she went again. She tried again. She put the sloppy fruit out of her mind, and this time, it didn’t bother her too much. It wasn’t so bad.




Then, when Jordan called her that night, she would get to tell him that she tried again.

The wine still tasted like shit, but that didn’t disappoint her. Somehow, it only felt like a challenge.

—

Lou was coming up on her thirtieth birthday much faster than she wanted to admit. While she had no qualms about getting older, she wasn’t a fan of the unwanted changes that came along with it. For example, was that a shooting pain in her lower back just from playing hopscotch? These days, she would also much rather hang out with her sister and niece after a long week of work than go bar crawling on a Friday night. Especially if her sister promised a bottle of wine to share.



Lou was proud of Maria for doing something new and creative for herself. Or, it may turn out, that something might benefit both of them if the wine ever turned out good.

“I dare you to drink it first,” Maria laughed.

“On three,” Lou said. “One, two, three, chug!”




“Huh, not bad. I like this for you,” Lou said. “It’s better than knitting, huh?”

“Don’t knock knitting,” Maria said. “It sounds very relaxing. But you like this better because you get to drink the wine with me. I don’t think you’d be as appreciative if I knitted you a scarf.”

“Truth. Just, like, just don’t go and develop a drinking problem on my behalf.”



“So, Jamie wants to move in together,” Lou said.

“Oh my gosh, did she say that?”

“No, she would never. But her sister is all talking about moving in with Ian, which just makes Jamie have this constant look, like… the perfect mix of expectation and disappointment at the same time.”

“Moving in together is a big deal,” Maria said.

“I know, right? But do you think if we moved in together she’d stop swooning for a baby?”



Maria’s eyes went wide. “No! She would do the exact opposite. Lou!”

“That’s why I’m not asking her to move in! I mean, I wouldn’t mind having her there full-time. We’re good in that way, but god, ever since this whole science baby breakthrough. It’s all she ever reads about, thinks about, talks about. Isn’t it wonderful? Isn’t it amazing? Everyone can have a real family together, even people like us… Like, what makes a ‘real’ family anyway? And besides, if I had her baby at my place, who would watch your baby all the time?”

“Thank you, by the way,” Maria said, “for agreeing to watch JoJo. She’s kind of sour over it, but I’ll bring her with me the next time. Twenty-four hours is gonna be rough, even if it’s also fun. I really think we need to focus on each other.”



“In bed…” Lou crooned, and they both laughed. “Can he afford all these trips?”

“He’s paying for this one, I’ll pay for the next. It’s even. It should be, right? Aren’t you a feminist?”

Lou gave her sister a disapproving stare. “I don’t know, equality and all that, but… that money is for you and JoJo. That’s why Joseph left it to you, so you’d be taken care of. Not to spend on your boyfriend.”

“I know,” Maria said. “But anyway, he’s never asked me for money. He’s not like that. He’s not materialistic at all.”



“Does he know you have it?”

“Uh, no, he probably doesn’t.” Maria took a long sip and settled into that new worry, while Lou’s thoughts drifted to her own concerns. She had planned to ask Jamie to sleep over tonight, but now the idea felt loaded. So she thought instead about organizing that girls’ night. Pajamas, board games, and campy movies was a lighter topic to think about. Maria could bring the wine. But trying to sync up everybody’s busy schedules was harder these days as they all settled into their nearly thirty-something careers and relationships.

“Lou,” Maria said delicately. “You said ‘her’ baby. Not yours together.”



Lou felt called out. “I did, didn’t I?” Lou nodded, then she let out an exhale so heavy it could blow the whole subject away. Too much reality for a Friday night, and the buzz from this wine was finally kicking in.



“This isn’t bad, by the way,” Lou said. “Kind of like cider, but not too sweet. It could definitely be stronger, though.”

“Then we’d definitely develop a drinking problem,” Maria said.

—

So Maria and Johanna became frequent patrons of the arts center. Maria worked on her new hobby, and Johanna expanded her social circles with all the new kids she met there. Spitfire as she may be, Johanna could also be very friendly. Each time Maria came to pick her up from the kiddie corner, she seemed to have made a new friend.

Today she was talking with a boy at the science table.



When he turned around, Maria gasped.

“His name is Milo,” Johanna announced, and Maria was grateful for that information because she hadn’t met the twins enough times to know which boy was which. It was shocking how much he looked like his dad. Looking at his face made her heart hurt.



He looked at Maria funny for a minute. “Oh, hey, aren’t you the kitchen lady from my dad’s work?” Then he added sadly, “I mean, his old work.”

The kitchen lady. Maria laughed. He wasn’t wrong. “Yeah, that’s me.”

“He doesn’t work there anymore,” Milo said, “but I guess you probably know that. You made me a grilled cheese once when I came to the hotel after school. It was really good.”

“You can’t go wrong with grilled cheese. You know, your dad is my best friend.”

“Oh, weird.” Milo made a mystified face. Not in a bad way, but like he’d never considered his dad having a best friend before.



Maria was totally unsure how much she should or shouldn’t meddle here. She should probably mind her own business, but she knew too much and she cared too much. Jordan told her about the confiscated phone and how he hasn’t been allowed to talk to his kids for three days. She knew Jordan was upset about it, and it looked like Milo was, too. Maria loved Jordan, and Milo came from Jordan, which meant that her love extended to him, even if they didn’t know each other very well yet. Her heart ached for them both.

“He can’t wait to talk to you again,” she said.

There was a small panic on the boy’s face. “Oh, I have to do all my homework before I’m allowed. But I can’t do it.”

“Why can’t you do it?”

“‘Cause fractions are really hard, and my mom can’t help because she’s always working. My dad is really good at fractions, because you need fractions for building stuff. But he can’t help me now because he’s gone.”

Oh, sweet boy. Maria wanted to hug him, but that would have been totally weird, so she didn’t. But she had an idea. “Wait, what if he can help you? Do you have your homework here?” 

“Yeah, It’s in my backpack.”

“Hang on just a second.” Maria stepped around the corner to make a phone call.  

It was 4pm, still too hot in the desert for climbing and late enough for work to be done. Chances were decent that Jordan would be free. She often called him at this time of day.

And he picked up.



“I have to show you something,” she said. She pointed her camera at the kiddie corner where Johanna and Milo were still chatting. “Look who JoJo found at the arts center. Do you think they remember each other from the hotel? It’s probably been a while since they were both there at the same time. But JoJo just walked up to him and they started chatting.”

“And they’re getting along?”

“Like peanut butter and jelly.”

“That’s so funny. It’s great, really. One less thing to stress about, huh? I kind of wondered if they would get along. Is Felix there too?”

“It doesn’t seem like it. Just Milo,” Maria said. “So, I don’t know if I’m overstepping here. I probably am, and you can let me know if this is a terrible idea, but do you want to talk to him?”

Jordan only thought about it for a second before answering. “Yeah, I do.”



Maria brought the phone over to Milo, and seeing his father’s face on the screen, Milo lit up. His mother would be angry about this, but Maria didn’t feel like she’d done something wrong.

Milo got out his homework, and Maria propped the phone up on the table. Then she left them to it. She didn’t want to eavesdrop.



“But I want a turn talking to Jordan,” Johanna whined.

“You had a turn last night. Tonight it’s Milo’s turn. It’s really important. You can talk to me instead.”

“But I always talk to you.”

“Don’t you like talking to me?”

“Yeah, you’re still my favorite.”




Maria hugged her baby, feeling lucky for this one thing. Nobody would ever come between her and this little girl. “Thanks, baby.”

“But when we’re playing animals, Jordan is my favorite.”

Maria laughed. “Oh, okay. That’s fair.”




Over in the kitchen area, Jordan and Milo were having a happy little chat. They talked about school, video games, and how his brother was at a student council meeting after school. They talked a little bit about math, but that wasn’t the only thing they talked about. They didn’t talk about Colette. And Milo especially liked to hear that Jordan planned to visit Wisconsin in December.

He didn’t quite understand, though.

“You’re coming home? Mom got a new couch, it sucks. Or if you want, you can have my bed and I’ll sleep in the living room. The couch isn’t that bad.”

Oh, the heartbreak Jordan had to deliver. Milo didn’t understand that they wouldn’t all live under one roof like the seemingly happy family they pretended to be. It would never be like that again.



“No, I’m sorry, buddy. You’re gonna keep your bed. I can’t sleep in that house anymore. But maybe your mom will let you stay over in the camper with me on the weekend. Someday she will. But, for now, we’ll hang out a lot. We’ll see movies. We’ll go skateboarding. We’ll do whatever you want.”

Jordan felt like the biggest piece of shit in the world and there weren’t enough promises to make up for it. “Let’s talk about those fractions, huh?”



After about an hour, Milo brought Maria’s phone back. It was okay that they took an hour. Maria hoped that they weren’t talking about fractions the whole time. And Lord help her if—no, when—Colette ever found out about what she had orchestrated here. Maria was a dead woman walking.

“Thanks, um, Maria, right?”

Better than the kitchen lady. “Yeah, any time.”

“Well, I gotta go now. My mom’s picking me up in a minute.”

Pray for me, Maria thought. 

—

Jordan called her back that evening after all the kids had been settled down.

“Thank you for that. He was so upset. He was trying to tell me something when she took his phone, and he’s been holding it in for three days.”



“I know,” Maria said. “I could see that on his face.” She inhaled sharply. “But Colette is gonna kill me. I wonder if she’s seen me at the hotel? I wonder if she remembers who I am?”

“Let me worry about Colette,” he said. “It was a good idea. We told her there was a tutor at the arts center, and he used their phone to call me.”

“Did she believe that?”



“For now. Well, now she wants the name of some poor arts center tutor who doesn’t exist, but that should hold for a while.”

“Okay, but I’m still gonna look over my shoulder everywhere I go.”

“She won’t lay a finger on you as long as I’m alive,” he said. “You are an angel on earth. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Those are some big words, mister.”




“Yeah,” he laughed, feeling shy now. But he wasn’t going to hide from that feeling. He needed her like he needed the wide world to roam in, like he needed new horizons, fresh air, open skies, like he needed his kids to believe in him, like he needed time to just stop and wait. He had to figure out a way to make it all work. “I mean it, though. I need you. Please don’t give up on me.”

“I’m not,” she said. “I won’t.”

—

Maya said, “It’s not like you’d summit this year and be done. Did you think you could feel that kind of rush and never want to do it again? Believe me, once you get there, you won’t want to stop, you’ll see. This is your life now. Even if it’s not what you do for a living, you’ll dream in summit fever. Just wait.”

Jack was all in with the hype, but Jordan wondered if the dream of a summit would be all he ever achieved.

This hobby was expensive. He wanted to be sold on the whole package, he wanted to drink the Kool-Aid and buy all the hype, but the fine print gave him sticker shock. First there were the classes. Two years of training, probably, if he didn’t want to die on the mountain. He would certainly not make the cutoff for this January’s summit, which meant another spring and fall session next year. The gear wore out, and he’d need to repair and replace it often.

Then, when he finally was ready, there would be airfare, lodging, and supplies.

And besides the climbing, he still had important repairs to complete on the camper. There was still child support to send to Colette exactly when and how she wanted it. He needed to find work, finally, having burnt through most of his savings.

How did anyone afford this lifestyle?



Well, if you looked at the people around him: Tyler Jackson was the son of Aura Jackson, a millionaire business mogul and sitting Secretary of the Treasury. His mother bankrolled this entire park. He was literally a trust fund baby.

Yeah. That was how.

Darren was a corporate marketing consultant by day—whatever that was—and an avid prize-winning marathoner on the weekends.

Kristoff wouldn’t talk about his work, but it sounded a little shady and was probably lucrative or else he wouldn’t do it.

Then you had Jack. He was just a cop, but his wife was an accountant, and he was the son of Sophie Phoenix, culinary marvel. She wrote a cookbook, Jack said.

Jordan hated to admit that Colette was right, but you couldn’t live this kind of lifestyle on a hobo’s wage and still send home child support.

Even Ingrid’s minimalist free spirit #roadlife was made of three-thousand dollar cameras, sponsorship deals, and loans from her mommy’s pocket.

And he needed to talk to a lawyer still. Lawyers cost money.

He needed to maintain a residence somewhere, because that was what Colette wanted. Not just any residence, but at least two bedrooms and a bathroom in a respectable neighborhood. And he likely couldn’t do all of that on gig work in between climb training. First and last month’s rent was the same price as the Komorebi trip he wasn’t skilled enough to take.

He wasn’t twenty anymore and adults don’t get a gap year.

He just wanted to find his own stride, to live a life that he carved out for himself and not one that someone else picked for him. But where was that life? The only answer he knew was that he needed more work, bigger jobs, and more of them. Money wouldn’t solve all of his problems, but it would solve a lot of them.




So he picked up whatever work he could find in between the climbing. Task Rabbit, Doordash, delivering groceries and helping people pack and move boxes. It hardly made a dent in what he needed.

Jordan wasn’t of the mind to think any kind of work was beneath him, but he needed something more substantial than this. He could get by on little money, but not this little. Especially not after dropping $450 on climbing shoes! And even when the jobs paid more, it wasn’t always worth the trouble. If he wanted to be bossed around by insufferable women, he could go back to Colette.




So he worked and he climbed. He climbed and he worked.

The vacation was over. He did handy jobs in the mornings, and it was hard physical labor. He climbed in the evenings, which was more physical exertion. Finally, he dropped onto his bed at night and crashed hard.

He didn’t intend to sleep through the ping of Maria’s goodnight texts, but his body was done and so it slept on his behalf. He would see her in his dreams instead, and he hoped she would wait for him there.

—

outtakes & extras: dance party before preschool // squeamish // drunk

gameplay notes: Maria is taking “nectar-making” in the culinary category for her second aspiration, besides her “big happy family.” <- since that one takes about a whole freaking lifetime to complete! And as for the negative moodlets, I’m happy to see they don’t happen every time. I guess we’ll just have to keep her stocked up with other happy moodlets to overpower the ick factor, lol!

story notes: = the reason Lou and Jamie are on again, off again, over and over again?

Also, so Maria is a little bit loaded? That’s not meant to be a secret, exactly, but it hasn’t been mentioned for a while. She mentioned it all the way back here, vaguely, talking about how she didn’t really need to work, but liked to work when Jordan was on the schedule. She receives a military death benefit from the government on Joseph’s behalf, but Joseph also had a bit of family money which he left to Maria and Johanna. It’s not a ridiculous amount, but it’s enough to matter.