Drown #9: the best laid plans, part 5

December 2085. Stephanie Nova is 26, Justin Kim is 25. George McCarthy is 31.  

* sensitive content advisory for Drown #9: the best laid plans, parts 1-5



Christmas morning, Alice wanted everyone home for the holidays. So Stephanie came home, leaving their things between several houses and cars. She felt displaced and homeless, even in her own childhood home. Stephanie had no idea where Jeremiah had to go. He didn’t say where he went, just that he’d be back to see Willow as soon as he got some things in order. He had no family here. Maybe Sheila and Ronnie took him in. They were nice people, Stephanie thought. She hoped that Jeremiah was good to them.

Jeremiah could have been anywhere. She didn't feel far enough away. It all felt like too little, too fragile, too temporary. Jeremiah was smarter than they gave him credit for. She couldn't wait for February first to come when he would be military bound to be in South Carolina.


It was too close to Christmas to do much of anything at all. Justin got in contact with the lawyer, but he wouldn't see them until after the holiday. Relax, they were told. Enjoy the holidays. But Stephanie had no idea if Jeremiah was miles away or just around the corner. It was hard to feel relax here, but as long as there were at least half a dozen or more people in the house with her, she felt okay.

But she wouldn't leave the house on her own. She wouldn't stay in the house on her own, either. She wouldn't even drive to the grocery store because Jeremiah was out there, somewhere, and she knew this wasn't over. He would do something to spite her. He would hurt someone or take Willow. She didn't know what, but he would do something when everyone least suspected it. They wouldn't even see it coming.


Justin was happy to have a bedroom again with a locked door and real bed. Even if they were supposed to be careful.

First Stephanie missed a couple of pills, then it was the weekend, then it was Christmas Eve and Day, and before she could even get to the pharmacy, six days had passed. Now Jeremiah was gone and she was home again. She wondered if she should just use her old pills. That is, if it wasn’t already too late.

But over those six days, the idea started to grow on her. She started to feel like she might be disappointed if it wasn't already too late.


"I read on this medical blog that it’s a strong possibility it might already be too late," she said. "Because we did it like three times that night, right before I missed all those pills."

"Steph, if it is too late, I won’t be upset."

"I won’t either."

"But if it is already too late, and you started the pills again, wouldn't it hurt the baby?"

"I don't know. I don’t think so. But maybe we should find out for sure before I start taking them again."

"Yeah, we should find out first," he said. "I was also thinking, if it is already too late, it might be okay. Jeremiah has to be in South Carolina in five weeks and you wouldn’t be showing by then, so how would he ever know?"

"I thought you're supposed to be the sensible one?" She smiled at the idea of it. "But shouldn't we get our divorces first? That’s what we’re supposed to do, right?"

"Yeah, I guess we're supposed to do it like that. But it's not like Jeremiah will be magically okay with it after the divorce is final. And when will that be anyway?"

"Oh, you're right, what if that's not for years and years?" There was a tremor of worry in her voice now. Stephanie knew how precarious life was, how easily everything could be turned upside down. "He's probably going to make it difficult and it'll take forever. Are we supposed to wait years and years to have a baby if we both want one? And what if by then we're too broke and old and sad? What if we can't have one anymore or if something happens to one of us and we never get the chance?"

"Nothing's gonna happen to us, Steph. But we should at least get a house first."


"See, I knew you were the sensible one," she said. "We should definitely get a house first."

"But maybe don’t take any more pills until we find out if it’s already too late. In case it would be bad for the baby."

"And maybe I should get some prenatal vitamins when the pharmacy opens tomorrow. In case it’s already too late. The baby would need folic acid and stuff."

"I’ll take you to the pharmacy first thing in the morning," he said. "I'm gonna buy you so much folic acid."

She could feel her ovaries throbbing.

—

After Christmas, Stephanie went to meet the Riley family lawyer. Of all the Riley family, Bryson was the least angered at Justin and Keri’s disaster of a young marriage. Over the past couple of years, it was usually Bryson who came by the house to visit with Lily. Madison still held a grudge against Stephanie, and her visits were usually brief and bitter. But Bryson had always had a soft spot for Justin, having never had a son of his own, and he understood how difficult Keri could be. Or maybe he was just the least petty of them all. Bryson understood and he set up the appointment. He couldn't help pay for it, though, and he hoped they would understand. He'd already be paying for Keri and Justin's divorce, as well as the sunk investment in the lakeshore home they abandoned. But Bryson promised that George McCarthy would be fair and very good.

So Stephanie's parents would pay for her divorce. They had to take out an equity loan on the house, but she'd pay them back once she got the approval to sell her Aunt Abby's cabin. It was the only thing of any value that Stephanie owned. She hadn't watched any children since before Reclamation Day, and she was too scattered and displaced to start now. So she only had $425 to her name when Jeremiah rerouted his paycheck to another bank account. He told Stephanie, "As my wife, I wouldn’t deny you anything. But if you’re not going to be my wife, then you can’t use my paycheck anymore. And since you're shacked up with your lover, good luck getting any alimony."

"You don’t need any of his money," Justin promised her. But it wasn't true. In real life, people needed money, and Stephanie needed a lot of money to pay this very expensive lawyer. She felt like an absolute burden on everyone she knew. But she also needed help. She couldn't do this on her own.


"He says he's going to take Willow to South Carolina. He can’t take Willow, can he?"

"We can start your custody paperwork right away," George said. "We'll include a notice that he can’t remove Willow from the state without a prior agreement. It will be the first form we file."

"But if the courts approve it, can he get permission to take her to South Carolina?"

"At Willow’s age, with the lack of established relationship, and with all of Willow's family here, it’s unlikely that he’d be granted permission to take her that far away for any length of time. Not until she’s much older and they’ve had time to establish a relationship, at least."

"How old?"

"Usually about school-aged, many families will start to do extended holidays and summer vacations across states. But that's provided he’s shown a good record of visitation here and keeps up his child support. As a father, he has a right to develop a relationship with his daughter unless you can provide a reason why he shouldn’t."

"I don’t know if he shouldn't. He hasn't been here since she was an infant. How do I know what kind of a father he'll be? What if he never does anything bad to her? Or what if he does?"

"Proving he’s a bad husband is one thing, proving he’s an unfit parent is a whole different thing. We can do both if that's necessary."

George had some questions for her, starting with the most obvious, but then the questions got more complicated. Has he ever hit you? Has he ever threatened to hit you? Has he ever grabbed or pushed or pulled your hair? Has he ever made you feel frightened? Has he ever restricted contact with friends or family? Has he ever withheld financial resources? Did you document anything? Did he ever threaten you in a voicemail or email?


The emails. "I deleted them," she said.

"Why did you delete them?"

"Because they were scary and I didn’t like them. I’m sorry, did I mess everything up?"

"No, we’ll find something. Tell me what the emails said. Can you remember?"

Stephanie froze. "We don’t have to talk about this, do we? Can’t we just get a regular divorce and make it be over with? It wasn’t like… he never pushed me down stairs or gave me a black eye or anything like that. And it was so long ago, what if I can’t remember it all? What if it just makes him madder? I don’t want him to get in trouble, because he's military and he might lose his job. I want him to keep his job, because if he doesn’t, then he won’t go to South Carolina and I really just want him to go to South Carolina."

Then George McCarthy looked at Stephanie with such sorrow, it was like he'd heard a hundred battered wives say exactly the same thing before. "Here's how it works though," he said. "If he's not dangerous, then he'll have a chance to prove that in court. But if he is dangerous and you don’t say so, it’ll make it harder to give you and Willow the protection you may need."

Stephanie took a deep breath. "Okay. What kinds of things do you want to know?"

"Start from the beginning. Say anything you remember and we'll make a note of it. Maybe it will be useful or maybe not, but you don't need to worry about that right now."

Justin saw that she looked the same way she did on the night of his wedding, full of bottled up terrors. She never wanted to tell Justin every last horrible detail—he was too emotionally invested, it would hurt him to hear it and she didn't want to hurt him—but her lawyer should probably know it all. And George McCarthy was a good lawyer because he noticed it, too, and he gave Justin quick, tedious glances that maybe he should step outside. Point taken.

"Steph, I think it might be easier for you if I waited outside," Justin said.

"I'm sorry," she said. "It’s not that I wouldn’t tell you, it’s just, all of it all at once and—"

"Don’t worry, it’s okay." Justin squeezed her shoulder. "I’ll be right out here." 

Half an hour passed. Justin felt guilty all over again that she had so many bottled up things to say.


When she came out, she had a weary smile on her lips. It looked like both exhaustion and relief.

"Was it all okay?"

"Yeah, it’s done," she said. "I mean, the first step is done anyway. He’ll get the paperwork some time after New Year, and within twenty-four hours nobody can take Willow out of the state without court approval."


"You did good, Steffie. I’m gonna take the rest of the morning off. Are you hungry? Ice cream and scones for breakfast?"

"Yes, please," she said.

—

footnotes: Madison's grudge // Bryson // the emails

notes: I meant for this piece and the next to go together, but it was getting way too long! The next is almost done though, so it should follow pretty soon.