my sweetheart #1: it wasn’t funny after all

July 2088. Cynthia Kim is 52, Robert is 54, Justin is 28, Stephanie is 28. 

It was an ordinary summer morning. The children poured themselves some cereal. Probably most of it ended up on the floor, but who cared?

“Fine, have cookies. Fine, have ice cream. Dog food? What dog food? We don’t have a dog. Just be good. We’ll be out in a minute. Mommy and Daddy are just wrestling.”

It was a slow and sweet summer morning. Their wedding was imminent, finally, after all this time, and everyone was feeling playful and light. Both of them had to work today. Justin would pop over to the workshop for a few hours—he loved being his own boss and making his own hours—then Steph had dinner to serve tonight at the inn.

It was a charming summer morning that was about to take a terrible turn.

Cynthia went to work that summer morning, too. She was a stay-at-home mom for most of her youth, but now as a grandmother, she wanted to work. She took a part-time barista job in town at a gothic-themed bookstore.

Robert was semi-retired these days, and the empty house didn’t suit him. He frequently showed his face around the shop where Cynthia spent her mornings, or otherwise a couple doors down at Justin’s workshop. He loved his family so much. He couldn’t stay away.

“You need a dog,” Justin told his dad. Justin couldn’t stop talking about dogs lately. The kids would love one. Where they found the dog food was anyone’s guess.

“Nah. I’m too tired to keep up with a dog,” Robert said.

Tired? Why?



Nobody thought anything of it. The heart attack came on so suddenly, and it didn’t feel the way he imagined a heart attack would feel. It was a deep cough of disbelief, hysteria, impossibility. He wasn’t ready.

“What’s so funny, old man?” a shopper said, assuming Robert was laughing at his bald-headed girlfriend. “She has alopecia! It’s a medical condition. How rude! How do you know she didn’t have cancer or something, you heartless beast.”

But Robert wasn’t laughing at either of these hairless customers. Turns out, he wasn’t laughing at all.




Cynthia was there right away, and someone sent for Justin to rush over. It all happened so fast and so suddenly. Who should call 911? Did they wait too long? There wasn’t time to think about what they could have done differently.



It didn’t feel so long ago that Cynthia sat by her son’s bedside in this very hospital, praying for a miracle. There was no bedside to pray beside this time, just the cot the paramedics brought her husband’s body in on, where he was pronounced dead on arrival. Maybe Cynthia’s prayers had all been used up.

—

Not even two years had passed since they bought this house to be near Justin and the kids. They were just a scenic bike ride away. They had so many dreams of seeing their grandchildren visit here. The girls would be old enough to ride over on their own soon. They’d host family barbeques in their spacious yard. They’d pick fruit from the wild cherry trees in the forest. Robert was the grill master, so those dreams were wasted now and Cynthia didn’t want to do any of those things alone.



Cynthia didn’t want to be home alone, so she spent more time over at Justin and Stephanie’s place. Here she could more easily forget that anything had changed, that Robert wasn’t still back at home working on a project.





But, as it turned out, forgetting was impossible here, too. Justin had lost a father, and the children had lost their grandfather. The grief was inescapable.



Stephanie and Willow did their best to keep everyone taken care of. They also loved and missed Robert dearly, but for once, Stephanie enjoyed being the strong one in this family.



Sharon came over to see how everyone was holding up. Also to talk business, as untimely as it was. The barn was decorated for their wedding, the catering menu was set, guests invited. The wedding was scheduled for next weekend. But nobody was in any state of mind to celebrate a wedding.

“I know you might not feel up to it, but it would be a shame to take it all down. It turned out so lovely. And after August, the barn is reserved until December for other events. I’m sorry to put you on the spot.”

“Maybe a couple weeks longer?” Justin asked. 

So they picked a new date in the last week of August. They wouldn’t put off this wedding any longer than that, no matter how much grief they felt. They’ve been through so much together already.

The beautifully decorated wedding barn would wait for them and they would get married here.

—

Through the war, the ugly divorces, the move, the rough pregnancy and new baby, supplier delays, and even the weather, this wedding had been postponed for so long. Stephanie was a pessimistic person. She was usually drawn to the darker moods, so it wasn’t easy to convince herself that this whole wedding, and perhaps even their entire romance, was cursed from the start. But instead, somehow, Stephanie managed to talk her fiancé back from the brink of despair, to help him look forward to their future again. For once, Stephanie was able to be the rock in their life, the way he had always been. And they began to dream about their wedding again.

And Cynthia was glad for that. They didn't have to experience this deep loss and loneliness that she felt. They still had each other, and she hoped beyond everything that they always would.

—

footnotes/outtakes: shout out to April Harris for needing to pee really really bad at such a devastating and serious moment // Stephanie looks on the bright side