my sweetheart #3: feral

August 2088. Jordan Graham is 28, Maria Boone is 26, Willow Nova is 7, Johanna Boone is 4.

one day before the wedding…

Jordan balanced six feet off the ground on a step ladder, with wires and electric candles in hand, while outside there were children’s voices counting down from ten, “Ready or not, here I come!” Then, whoosh. A streak of yellow and red and loose brown hair, breezing by with such force that the ladder swayed, even though the tiny girl couldn’t have weighed forty pounds. Maria’s girl, Johanna.

One of these kids would be the death of him. Or might have been, had his days not been numbered here. So, in that regard, he wasn’t mad. Someday he knew he would even remember the chaos of all this with fondness.

But, in any case, it wasn’t safe. “Not in the barn today,” he called out.



“I need to hide,” Johanna hissed from underneath the table, in something between a whisper and a dinosaur growl.

Johanna was the littlest of the bunch. Stephanie’s girls were bigger and should know better, but Johanna was only four. Jordan came down from the ladder.

why are you here? #4: then go

August 2088. Jordan Graham is 28, Maria Boone is 26, Colette Marin is 31, Felix and Milo are 9.

previously: the last time she tried to hug him was a little awkward // Colette crushed all his hopes and dreams

There were two weeks left before the revised date of Stephanie’s wedding, which had Jordan occupied outside, much to Maria’s disappointment. She’d missed him while he was away with his boys. For the kitchen staff, it was still too early to start food preparations for the wedding, so their workload was the regular fare—catering orders and supper club prep. She wasn’t too busy to steal five minutes to go find him.

The weather couldn’t be more perfect, and everyone hoped it would hold for the wedding, but it was still too far out to know for certain. The barn was scented with the light fumes of fresh paint. Those would dissipate in the next two weeks. Banners of gauzy ivory chiffon draped the ceiling between hanging pendant lights. The lights weren’t turned on yet, but Maria knew when they were, it would be breathtaking in here.

Jordan stood at the back door, gazing out, absently, somewhere beyond the trees.

She stood next to him. God, I missed you, she wanted to say. Did you miss me, too? Did you remember me at all?



Instead, she booped his pink nose and said, “You’re sunburned.”

Oh, god, Maria, she said to herself, did you actually just boop that man on the nose?

Yes, she did. Thankfully, he didn’t look unamused by it.

why are you here? #3: a cage left open

July 2088. Jordan Graham is 28, Colette Marin is 31, Felix and Milo are 9.

* length advisory: 5100 words and 92 pictures! Hope it loads! 😳 The text length isn’t so out of the ordinary for this blog, but I couldn’t stop taking pictures. It was a very scenic episode!

** if it has trouble loading, let me know and I’ll split it in two

They say you can’t run away from your problems, but the further Jordan drove, that was exactly how it felt. He left his problems back in Wisconsin, and here, life was pretty incredible. He ran away from his problems. It worked.

Out here, they could breathe. Jordan wondered if his boys could feel that too? How the air smelled sharper, cleaner, alive. How the sky looked bigger and brighter. How the roads went on forever in any direction you could choose. Here, they could wander without an endpoint, go where money and status didn’t matter, to have no expectations and disappoint no one. Out here, there was nobody to tell them no.

Jordan just wanted to be left to be, to exist, to parent his boys the way he saw fit. And out here, he could do that. He could breathe, and their boyish trio was a happy one.

why are you here? #2: little sparks catch fire (2/2)

June 2088. Jordan Graham is 28, Colette Marin is 31.

Jordan’s ten years with Colette had been a cacophony of ‘no’s’.

“No, don’t come to bed after ten. It wakes me up and I can’t fall back asleep. Don’t get in my bed without a shower. Don’t get in my bed wet. No naps, either. You know what? The couch is fine for you, isn’t it?”

“No more tattoos. They’re trashy.”

“No, we’re not getting a bigger truck because no, you’re not getting a camper. I don’t want a camper outside my house. That’s trashy.”

“No, I hate that music. I hate that music, too. I just hate music. All music.”

“No, we’re not getting a dog. No, not a cat, either. A chicken? Are you fucking kidding me? Where the hell are we gonna put a goddamn chicken?!?”

“No work clothes in the house. No tools, either. I hate your clothes—you dress like a homeless man.”

“No campfires. Ew, I can smell it on you for days.”

“No kippers in the house. Ew, no kippers at work either. No kippers ever. I can smell them before you even eat them, and it makes me want to vomit.”

So when he came to her with this idea, he had little faith that she would say yes.

The boys were in the living room with a cartoon, and Colette was at the dining room table with her laptop. Jordan sat down.

obituary: Robert Randolph Kim

born: May 16, 2034

died: July 13, 2088 (heart attack)

He was 54 years old. 

my sweetheart #1: it wasn’t funny after all

May 2088. Cynthia Kim is 52, Robert is 54, Justin is 28, Stephanie is 28. 

* this chapter takes place simultaneously with “why are you here? #2: little sparks catch fire” but from the Kim family's point of view

It was an ordinary summer morning. The children poured themselves some cereal. Probably most of it ended up on the floor, but who cared?

“Fine, have cookies. Fine, have ice cream. Dog food? What dog food? We don’t have a dog. Just be good. We’ll be out in a minute. Mommy and Daddy are just wrestling.”

It was a slow and sweet summer morning. Their wedding was imminent, finally, after all this time, and everyone was feeling playful and light. Both of them had to work today. Justin would pop over to the workshop for a few hours—he loved being his own boss and making his own hours—then Steph had dinner to serve tonight at the inn.

It was a charming summer morning that was about to take a terrible turn.

why are you here? #2: little sparks catch fire (1/2)

Spring 2088. Jordan Graham is 28, Maria Boone is 26, Felix and Milo Graham are 8. 



You can know what you need to do on a logical level, but the courage to bring down that hatchet and chop a whole family in half? These boys knew nothing else but the four of them, together. It had been that way since they were toddlers. They fashioned this beautiful lie for them that looked like a family on the outside and was a festering wound on the inside, and now what could they do about it?

Leaving Colette, legally, wouldn’t be any more difficult than walking out the door. But to the boys, it would feel as much like a divorce as any. But that also wasn’t a reason to stay with their mom for another ten years. The idea of marrying her gave him hives. Staying in her house on her couch like a random cousin who came to visit made him bitter. He was a grown man who paid rent here, and he wanted to sleep in a bed. Was that too much to ask?