what you deserve (SNU & DAC, spring 2088)

Sierra Nova University and Dresden Arts College

Spring, 2088

*** warnings: abortion vs. pro-lifers


It was weird, Melissa now realized, how little she actually worried about the possibility of this happening. Melissa was a good girl, mostly. Daydreamy and whimsical, sure, but always headed in the right direction. She didn’t sleep around that much. She took her birth control pills. She asked her partners to wear condoms, too. And still?

It seemed wrong. It seemed unfair. It seemed like her pills had a manufacturing error or an incompatibility with some rogue herbal tea. It seemed like it should be absolutely anything but the biggest mistake of her life. 

Because, oops? Just like that? Oops, there went her plans. Like, oops, she dropped her phone in the toilet. That’s an oops. This was more than an oops. 

But, true story, everything was dropped in the toilet now, along with her morning sickness and her breakfast. Her summer internship at the movie studio. That screenplay she was working on, her photography portfolio, and her book of short stories that an editor had called, “promising.” Festival summer! Could she even go to Alien Con in the middle of the desert, with its noise and dust and secondhand smoke and sleepless nights, while five months pregnant? Would she have to pause her last year of uni to take care of a baby? Could she do a post-grad photography retreat in Komorebi, living out of some tiny cheap apartment, eating nothing but canned soup and ramen noodles, while full-time single parenting an infant?

And she and Hudson were hardly even a couple.

Raquel was a fellow literature student at Sierra Nova, and also Melissa’s cousin, Sarah’s, longtime girlfriend. She was a senior this year and felt like everyone’s big sister. Melissa could have used a big sister. Maybe she wouldn’t be in this mess if she’d had one. Melissa barely had a mother, growing up. She’d gotten by with her father just fine, but this was not a dilemma Melissa felt comfortable bringing to her dad. 

Her body and mind had been taken over by the pregnancy. She could hardly focus. She felt larger already, breasts swollen, bloated, hormones surging, the worst acne breakout she’d had since she was sixteen!

“Sweetie, you can’t pretend this isn’t happening,” Raquel said. 

“But why me?” Melissa whined. “Everybody else is banging all the time and they’re fine.”

“I can’t help you there. I bang girls.” Raquel shrugged. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m gonna finish this homework, and then I have class. I have my internship at the studio this afternoon and a cafe shift this weekend. I have a presentation and a term paper to finish and I was going to browse tickets for the festivals this summer. I don’t have time to be pregnant.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work that way.”

—

While none of the other students at Sierra Nova are having quite as rough a semester as Melissa, they’re all swamped, nose to the grindstone. Most of them don’t have time for anything.

Calvin, Riley, and Andre are this year’s biology students. Riley is proud of herself for sticking out her first year of college at the ripe old age of thirty-seven, while her nineteen-year-old daughter couldn’t hack it, cut, and ran. Not that she’s gloating. She just didn’t know how she’d cope with school again after being out in the world for all these years, but she feels pretty confident about it now. She’s even able to impart some life wisdom to these young whipper-snappers. 

Leilani is still crushing on Andre, despite his choice to date Selena instead. Leilani feels called to offer him her blessings, even if she still considers herself to be the better choice. Selena is just rebounding with him, Leilani thinks but doesn’t say.  

Leilani also thinks it’s a little bit gross to pick up those sloppy seconds after Selena had been with a cad like Luis for such a long time? Leilani hasn’t been with anyone. She might have let Andre be her first. 

However. She and Andre still share the same dorm and see each other all the time, which makes it hard to let those feelings fade. 

Crashing her computer just before she hit “send” on her term paper. Seriously? What did she ever do to deserve this torment?!? 

It’s a rough time at Sierra Nova this semester. Most of the students here are so tired and scattered, they often run to class in their underwear. 

Calvin and Andre are also part of a sports club, in addition to their heavy course load. The additional responsibilities are almost not worth the extra scholarship money. They’re so tired, they don’t have any pep left to offer. 

Andre’s little brother is going to Dresden this year. He writes emails to tell Andre how nice it is. 

—

At Dresden Arts College, students discuss philosophy and literature over Drake’s almond macaroons. No pop tarts or pizza rolls at this study session. Drake is studying French pastry this semester, so their study fuel is always delicious. 

They make plenty of time for homework and term papers. 

And naps, of course. 

And there’s plenty of time for dining alfresco, where the most pressing concern any of them have is trying to declare, with certainty, whether the U.K. or the U.S. version of The Office was better? Pick your sides, folks, battle lines are drawn. This is serious business.  

None of them are studying the same courses, between their drama and communications and music and cuisine, but they’re all respectful of each other’s art, and offer each other valuable insights and support. 

Ariel is so glad she didn’t apply to that big university out west. She hears it’s a major bore.

— 

Melissa kept praying that this whole pregnancy thing would just go away. Which was silly. It wasn’t going away, only becoming more and more real by the minute. She had some decisions to make. 

But first, she felt like she should tell Hudson. 

If it had been a couple of weeks since Hudson heard from Melissa, he just figured she was really busy with school. He didn’t suspect anything. Their last encounter hadn’t been any better or worse than ever. But now she burst into his apartment and erupted in a panic. 

“I like you, okay?” she said. “This isn’t because I don’t like you. I mean, I guess we could know each other better, but it’s too late for that now. And now, college, and my internship, and holy crap like my whole future!”

Hudson could only stare. She didn’t have to say she was pregnant. He figured as much. 

“I mean, I won’t do it if you really want the baby,” she said. “Do you really want the baby?”

He’d only known that there even was a baby for approximately thirty seconds, and she already seemed pretty well decided that she didn’t want it. Was there really a question for him to answer at all? 

“Maybe I could have a few minutes to think about this?”

“Oh. Yeah. Sure.”

“I’ll take a walk,” he said. “You can grab something to eat, or watch TV, or whatever.”  

She nodded, and he went. 



He truly intended to walk, but his feet brought him to the river. There was a lot to think about. 

Did he want the baby? No, not really. Or not now. Or not with Melissa. He didn’t want to be the deciding factor in her abortion, either. There didn’t seem to be any right choices.

He meant to take ten or twenty minutes, but it ended up being a couple of hours. By the time he returned, he expected that she might have just left. But instead, she fell asleep on his bed. 

He tucked her in and took the couch. 

Which was far too small for his six feet of height. But it felt appropriate to give her some space on the occasion of dismantling their entire coupling and the resulting consequence. He hadn’t even asked how far along she thought she was. Not far enough along that he noticed any physical changes, either tonight or the last time they were together. 

She slept through the night without a peep. He woke with the sunrise as he usually did, but also because he had a tight kink in his neck. 

She slept through his stretching and groaning, his footsteps toward the bed, and she seemed content to continue sleeping further. But he tapped her leg to wake her up. 

“Oh, sorry. I guess we didn’t finish,” she said. “And so, I hope you got to think about it. Because, I mean, there’s Alien Con this summer, and my post-grad year in Komorebi, and just so much else. I just couldn’t do that all with a baby. I couldn’t do any of it.” 

She pled her case with desperation. The way she spoke of her future and how excited she was about everything didn’t leave much room for his opinion. But if his opinion mattered, part of him was glad to see this encounter end with minimal consequence for either of them. 

“I know,” he said. “I’ll drive you to the clinic.”

—

—  

A few hours later, he returned her to school. 

“So, I don’t know if this seems obvious,” Melissa started. “But I think maybe we should cool things off. You know, I feel like I should just keep my head in my books for a while.”

“Sounds wise,” Hudson said. “No hard feelings. You go write all those stories and photograph all those mountains.”

“Yeah, for sure, I will. And you go catch the biggest fish in the river.”

“Okay.”

She might regret it later, but she’d also regret missing out on all of her plans. Only time would tell whether she’d chosen right or wrong. 

Most of her friends had been supportive of her decision, watching on in horror over the weeks as she decided what to do. None of them envied her life or the decision she had to make. 

But Melissa didn’t know Leilani very well, and she certainly hadn’t given her all the details. She also wasn’t surprised how word got around so fast. Word got around and around about these kinds of things. First Sarah, then Lucy, then Dallas, then Dakota, and now even some teenagers in South Carolina were talking about it. 

Leilani said, “I thought you couldn’t get in a hot tub while pregnant. Isn’t it bad for the baby?”

“Oh, yeah, well, I’m not pregnant anymore.”

Leilani’s face washed with sorrow. “I’m so sorry.”

Melissa laughed lightly. “No, I mean. You don’t have to be sorry. I vetoed it. You know what I mean? It’s just not the right time.”

To which the sorrow on Leilani’s face morphed into disgust. “You are skanky, immoral, irresponsible, sloppy, baby-killing trash.” 

“Yikes,” Melissa said. 

But oh, Leilani wasn’t done. There was more.

The lecture went on, even as the other girls joined them in the tub, about how that baby had a right to its life and how dare she snuff that out. “That baby deserved a chance to live, and if you didn’t want to become a mother, you should have kept your legs closed. And all because you needed to go to a music festival this summer?” 

“That’s not the only reason,” Melissa said, feeling defensive. 

“You’re going to regret this someday,” Leilani said. “Or at least, you should.” 

“Hey, Virgin Mary,” Sarah said. “Cool it down a notch. Women’s right to choose and all that. It’s none of your business.”

“This is great,” Raquel said, trying to defuse the tense situation. “What a pretty sunset.” 

“It’s lovely,” Evie added. “Look at the colors.”

Leilani’s death stare was chilling until she finally got out of the tub and went inside.

“Holy shit,” Sarah said to her cousin. “What did you do to her?” 

“I honestly don’t even know,” Melissa said. 

So the girls made light of the outburst and joked about how Melissa was going straight to hell in a handbasket. 

“Anyway. Grades are in,” Evie announced. “How’d you guys do?” 

“Not bad,” Melissa said. “Man, that was a rough semester, I thought I’d fail for sure.” 

“Oh, I failed,” Raquel said. “I failed bad.” 

—

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gameplay notes: Leilani is a pro-lifer? Her outburst was 100% gameplay (mods), highly unexpected, and amusing. I guess she really decided to make herself a character for this one. It started with that gameplay interaction, but considering her other virtuous feelings about the Selena thing, I figured maybe she’s just an all-around judgy and holier-than-thou kind of person. 

There are all kinds of people in the world! 

Kofi failed, I think because I pulled him out of the townie bin to go to Selvadorada, finding out that he was already enrolled in the middle of a uni term. Not sure why this term went so badly though, he went to all of his classes and did well on his term papers. So I won’t hold that against him and I’ll probably cheat up his grade. 

I’m not sure why Raquel did SO badly. We must have missed a class or not turned something in, which sucks because she was on schedule to graduate this year, and now she’ll have to do more. 

SNU was so hectic this term with 10 students enrolled. I’m definitely going to cap enrollment for future terms. 10 is insanity!!! Which means that my universities are about to get a lot more selective. On the other hand, playing 4 students at DAC was a cakewalk. They all turned everything in and got perfect grades, on top of having time for their friendships and hobbies. I think 6-8 students is probably the sweet spot.