postcards from the worst office holiday party ever

December 2087. Erin Close is 43. Vale Akiyama is 27. Cora Lawrence is 26. Luis Talbot is 24. Amelia Bradshaw is 32. Tyler Jackson is 24. Hudson Lawrence is 28. Melissa Fortney is 20. 

The markets have been dismal this year, and Erin hoped that this year’s Close Mutual office holiday party would lift everyone’s spirits. 

The party was held at her partner's nightclub, The Subterranean Flare, but decked out with lots of holiday decor. She also rented what she thought was the snazziest ensemble for the DJ to wear—a red sequined jacket with a pair of shiny white leather pants that hugged his tight butt in a spectacular way. 

He hated it. He wanted to wear black. But Erin couldn't have that. Not tonight. "This is a holiday party, not a funeral."

Vale was her partner's DJ on staff for the nightclub and she wasn't trying to piss him off, but she really wanted this party to be just perfect. 

Vale acquiesced and went to work. 

"Don't forget to smile," Erin said. "Holiday spirit!"

The employees arrived with spouses and dates in tow, looking festive. 

Luis had been standoffish with Cora ever since he broke up with his girlfriend. Cora didn’t want to commit to bringing a date, because she still really liked Luis and hoped things might take a turn for the better. Maybe tonight. So she put on this cute little red dress and invited her brother to be her plus one.

But Luis brought a date to the party, one that he didn't seem entirely enthusiastic about, some busty mean-looking girl he knew from school.

And that kind of spoiled all of Cora's plans for the night. 

Neither Tyler or Maya worked for the investment firm. They just crashed the party. 

But Maya looked absolutely lovely tonight, and just as Tyler realized how absurd it was that he was dancing six feet away from his beautiful wife... 

Amelia looked over and wondered, Shit, didn’t I bare my entire soul and then make out with that guy once at some nightclub in Lakeside Heights in 2083? 

Goddamn, yes, you did. What a very small world. 

She wondered if he remembered, too, and then she got her answer when he looked at her briefly and awkwardly, then quickly looked away. They both returned to their own spouses and refused to acknowledge the incident. 

About halfway through the night, Erin grew disappointed with the musical selection. It was just the usual dance party noise, and she wanted more holiday spirit. 

"Can't you play more Christmas music? Can't you make it a little more festive?" 

The bartender was coming down with something. She was really trying her hardest to power through the night, but her head was woozy and the chills were coming on. 

Blake looked at his drink and wondered if it might be contaminated. 

Melissa wondered, Who is that tall drink of water? 

She eavesdropped long enough to determine that he was family to Cora and not a date. Melissa decided to take a shot. "Psst, Cora, introduce me to your brother."

So the introduction was made. Cora's weird fishy woodsman brother, Hudson, met weird quiet bug girl, Melissa? On what planet could such a pairing possibly find each other? They ignored Cora completely to talk passionately about forest beetles and river trout, about fly fishing lures and pinned dragonflies behind glass. 

What nerds, Cora thought.

Cora also thought that Melissa was far too young for him, and she judged them both. 

Spoiler alert from the future: Cora will date a practically-still-married man fifteen years her senior who has children closer in age to her than he is. She will think nothing of age gaps then.

Vale tried his best to overcome this terrible outfit and the overbearing creative direction. The music was not bad, if he might say so himself. His music was never bad, of course, but…  

Amelia had a headache. 

That wasn't exactly his fault. Amelia always got headaches, especially around loud music and flashing lights, which one should probably expect at a nightclub. 

But Erin was not getting what she paid for, and she was fed up with it. For a fiscally conscious woman like Erin, getting her money's worth was very important!

"Can we tweak the sound just a bit," Erin asked, again. "No, not that Christmas music... No, that’s too loud... No, that’s too fast... Can you just, like, put this album on?" 

Then the DJ was definitely, positively very mad. 

Everyone stopped dancing, and a random girl passed out on the floor.

Nobody ate the lobster tortellini, even though it was catered at a great expense. 

And you know how Erin feels about wasting money. 

Hudson and Melissa ended their evening outside, talking underneath a light drizzle of rain, neither of them minding the damp mist that accumulated on their skin and clothing. It was almost romantic, for two outdoorsy types. They exchanged numbers and made plans for her to come over and see his seven-foot heavy-load carbon graphite fishing rod. “It's a very impressive rod,” he promised. 

“I can’t wait to see it,” she said. 

They were the only ones who had any fun tonight. 

—

footnotes: author's note on Amelia & Drew // 

notes: recalling another night when Melissa was the only one who had a good time. How magical it must be to be Melissa. 

She and Hudson got a tiny little pink bar for each other by the end of the night! With all my harder gameplay mods and their fickle traits, that never happens for either of them! They are both so weird and awkward, lol! I can’t wait to take them on their first proper date.  

And Vale is really not having a good time. Fame is actually really hard to achieve in TS4. I’m glad, actually, because in TS3 it was so easy and everyone became celebrities without even trying to. But I had him almost up to level 3 the last time I played him, now he’s barely hanging on to 2 again. 

Also, a paparazzi showed up at the club and I thought for a second he might be there for Vale, but no, he was there for Marc. And Marc wasn’t even doing anything interesting. Bummer! 

And Vale has the public phone number quirk, and he’s gotten a lot of mean messages lately. They were nice ones to start, so I thought the quirk wouldn’t be too bad. But maybe it’s time to change his phone number?