Drown #12: hand in my pocket, part 1

May 2086. Stephanie Nova and Justin Kim are 26. Willow and Lily are 4. Keri Riley is 25. 

Soundtrack, "Hand in my Pocket," by Alanis Morissette


Spring rushed into the countryside, bringing with it a lush green breath of fresh air. By May, in rural and forested areas, some occasional air pockets had been measured at fifteen percent oxygen. For the first time since Reclamation Day, the EPA lifted the air quality alert from Hazardous to Extreme Caution for certain zones and climates, and in Stephanie's particular corner of northern Michigan, they were rated simply Caution.



Stephanie could tend to her garden for ten minutes at a time before getting winded. Although becoming winded might have been more from the pregnancy weight than the air quality because the girls had no trouble at all racing around the yard.


Justin preferred that she sit and watch the girls play instead. Especially when he wasn't home. So she stuck to less taxing activities, like filling the bird feeder and watching the birds come and go, or listening to the wind chimes pick out a magical song.


She set the timer on her watch for thirty minutes and let the girls out to play. "Don't run," Stephanie called out to them, and they would slow to an anxious trot toward the water slide. The poor little girls, they wanted to let their little legs run free. How could they not run? If Stephanie didn’t have a little one in her belly, she’d be right out there with them.


Before all of their money was spent, they didn't forget what other necessities they needed to acquire before the baby arrived.



Justin still came home late from his work in the mines, even after their opening day. Stephanie thought that his hours would have lightened up a bit once everything was ready to go for the tourists. "Take a vacation day," she told him. "We have enough money now. We have enough things."

"Soon," he said.


Justin made sure the mortgage was paid first, because he knew what his priorities were. He'd also been promoted to shift manager at the mines site. It wasn't the kind of management that he was used to before, but a promotion was a promotion, and Justin always liked it when his hard work paid off.

They had enough money, that wasn't the problem. They had enough for next month's mortgage and he'd even begun to squirrel away a little for their impending hospital bills for the baby's birth, too. But he had one more big splurge to make, nine months delayed.


"It has to be something really special," he told the shopkeeper at the bridal boutique. "And by special, I don’t mean expensive, necessarily, although I also don't want something cheap. She wouldn't want something big, or gaudy. She wouldn’t like that. Something classic, but modest. Something perfect."

The shopkeeper had lots of ideas, which was great because Justin was at a loss this time around. Keri had been much easier to shop for. All he had to do was pick out the biggest and flashiest thing he could afford without going utterly bankrupt. Stephanie, on the other hand, didn't wear jewelry at all. She didn't even have her ears pierced. He had no clue what kind of ring she would like. He'd only ever seen one piece of jewelry on her—the simple wedding band that Jeremiah had bought for her.

And you'd better believe that Justin would make that ring pale in comparison. But not in a flashy way, of course.

So after a few directed questions from the shopkeeper, they settled on a metal, a stone, and a setting.


It was a big chunk of money. Not quite as big a chunk of money as he'd spent on Keri's ring—although, in his opinion, Stephanie's ring was much prettier—but now he had bills and a mortgage and a car and almost three children to feed. He took a deep breath and signed the receipt.

The shopkeeper gloated a little, he thought.

—

Their social worker, Mrs. Blair, came back again, but this time her visit was for the adoption case. Everyone felt much more at ease and the whole evening was lighter this time. Because Keri wanted to retain some parental rights in terms of visitation, Mrs. Blair wanted to see the three of them together.


"You three really seem to have everything sorted out," Mrs. Blair said. "You have no idea how mature and thoughtful that is compared to most of the cases I see."

They all nodded humbly, not admitting that they'd already had their share of disagreements between the three of them. That was in the past now. "We've had some time to think things over," Keri said.

"And this will look favorable for Stephanie’s divorce case, as well."

"How so?"

Because Jeremiah was trying to prove that Stephanie was frivolous and flighty, and that her relationship with Justin was some scandalous affair that put Willow in an unstable home environment. At least Mrs. Blair saw the truth now. They needed all the help they could get when it came to fighting Jeremiah in court.

Justin would be divorced in June because Keri was being reasonable. They signed their paperwork together and in complete agreement, which expedited the process considerably. It made Stephanie happy, but it also made her wish that she could have had that kind of breakup with her own ex.

Her lawyer said that Jeremiah had filed more requests and complaints. He told her not to get her hopes up that this would all be finished at their settlement hearing in August. He told her to anticipate a fight. Jeremiah had been through three court-appointed therapists to fulfill his end of the agreement because he didn’t like the ones that were given to him. Now he was asking for more time. He was asking for anger management classes and parenting classes and a life coach, and for Stephanie to pay half of the bill for all of it because of the unnecessary and unexpected stress that she caused him. She made him act the way he did, he said. If only you’d known him before, he was such a friendly and amiable man, he said.

Stephanie had no doubt that his lawyer and maybe even the judge would believe exactly that at first glance. Jeremiah made impeccable first impressions.

—

Also next month, Stephanie would help Sharon host a wedding for an adorable couple. Amy read about Copper Hill's air quality report in a local newspaper, and she wanted an outdoor June wedding just like she'd always dreamed of as a girl. They were in their final stages of planning now, going over the finalized budget with Amy's parents. They talked about flowers and catering and what exact colors she’d like for the decorations. They chose aquamarine and daffodil, and Sharon noted the exact shades with paint tabs so they could match the decorating. Sharon was so good at making sure every last detail was considered. What kind of cake and what flavor frosting? What will they have for dinner, and with what type of wine?


Stephanie sat there, offering what help she could, feeling like a complete fraud. What did she know about weddings? As extravagant and expensive as her divorce would be, Stephanie never had a real wedding. She never sent out invitations or waited for RSVPs. She certainly never got to pick out colors or food or what kind of music would play. She never had to worry about spilling marinara sauce on a white dress because she didn’t wear a dress. There was no music playing except hotel lobby Muzak. There was no photographer except for Justin with his phone camera that he pulled out of his pocket.

And these wedding plans, for adorable childhood sweethearts Amy and Blair, all seemed like something from a storybook that she might read. It seemed so romantic, the way a wedding should be. Or maybe most weddings happened this way. Stephanie’s divorce felt ambiguous and far away and she wondered when she would ever get to be a bride like that.

—

At the end of a long day, Stephanie's back and feet hurt even though she'd been sitting for most of her work. The evening was breathtaking. She rubbed her back and stifled her complaints. She had to admit that she had it pretty good here.


"I hope you're not too tired," Justin said. "Do you want to go lie down in bed?"

"No, it's nice out here. I want to stay."

"Come sit down then," he said.


"I got to eat fondue for work," she told him. "I got to talk about what kind of flowers come in blues and yellows. My job is to help somebody decide whether they should serve Italian Meatballs or Chicken Saltimbocca for their wedding—I suggested the chicken, because you know, tomato sauce and a white dress. Isn't my job the best?"

"Yeah, Steph. I'm really glad you enjoy it."

"I have to practice the chicken though, because I want to make sure I get it right on the big day. You’re going to be eating a lot of chicken this week."


"I like chicken," Justin said.

"But I guess my plants are looking pretty sad. I didn't have time to water them this morning."

"Stay here, I’ll water them," he said.



She watched Justin water the plants, as he took care to make sure each plant got the same amount of water, as he made a funny face whenever a splash of water soaked his pant leg. He was so diligent and thorough. He was so charming. He was too good to her. Dusk fell and the stars came out. Her children's laughter on the slip and slide was more precious than the delicate wind chime song. Her baby kicked and turned in her belly and tickled her insides. Everything was right here at this singular point on this large spinning rock in the middle of the cosmos. Everything she ever wanted in the world.

Justin put down the watering can and went to the girls. They whispered for a moment, then the girls came to the bench with flowers in their hands. Red roses, which Stephanie knew hadn’t come from her own garden.


"What’s this?"

"These are for you, but we have to hold them for you for a minute because Daddy has a present for you, too."

"For me? It's not Mother's Day. It's not my birthday. I don’t need anything. I have everything in the world."


"I know one more thing you need," Justin said.

"What do I need?"


Then he knelt down. He said, "Two years ago, I kissed my best friend and it changed absolutely everything. Steph, it was the best thing I’ve ever done. Nothing will ever be wrong as long as I have you. Next week, I’ll be divorced. I know you can’t marry me next week or probably even this year. It doesn’t matter to me how long it takes. Because you’re already my best friend, you’re already the mother of my children, you’re my partner, you’re my home, you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever known, inside and out. So, until then, I hope that every time you look at this ring, you’ll remember that you’re already absolutely everything to me."

"Oh, Justin," she whispered. Her heart was full of so much love that she worried it might burst through her chest.


He moved his hand from behind his back and Stephanie gasped when she saw the ring.

"Oh my gosh, what if I break it?"

"You won't break it."

"What if I get dirt on it from the garden?"

"I think that's okay. You can wash it."

"What if we need that money for something else?"

"We won't, I made a budget. Steph, can I put it on your finger?"

She nodded.


"I’m sorry it took me almost a year to save up for this. Do you still want to marry me?"

"Yes," she said. "Always always always yes."


"Are you guys married now?" Willow asked.

"Not yet," Justin said.

"Momma's got a ring on, so she’s married."

"Daddy, you just need a ring. Then you’ll be married, too."

"It’s because you didn’t kiss yet, duh. You have to kiss and then you’ll be married."

"Is that how it works?" Justin asked.

"Uh huh," the girls both said.


So he pulled Stephanie close and he kissed her. Even if it could only be in their hearts right now, it was plenty.

—

footnotes: the first proposal // the second // Mrs. Blair's first visit // Amy and Blair


close up of the bling: 



This is a personal recolor of this ring, opting for rose gold instead of traditional gold, and I wanted a pearl for Steph instead of a large diamond. I just didn't see Stephanie as the diamond type. I wanted to imagine the tiny stones were small diamonds, though, to enclose the pearl. But they pull texture from the big stone and kind of look like tiny pearls, which doesn't really make sense. But oh well, lol! We will use our imaginations. 

Also, in real life, I know that pearls are super hard to take care of. So Stephanie is lucky that she's a sim so her cooking and gardening won't really hurt it. Or maybe we might imagine that 2086 pearls are genetically engineered to be tougher. ;)